this year been pretty of a up and downs for me. as someone grows up, i think we think deeper everyday. i got to know alot of truths in life, in my family, among my friends and all.

its another full stop for the year again. i'm really thankful for everyone - includes those who bring smiles, sorrow, tears, pissed, etc. everything. because of these, i am learning one step at a time all the while.

perhaps 2010 has been a teary year for me, more unhappiness compared to happiness. i have been rather indecisive at the start of the year, and even now. i'm pulling myself back all the time, cause i know....

ending 2010 with this wonderful song:

even if i'm lost, i know there are always people out there holding my hands.

happie birthday dadddy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

its been 19 blessed years i have spent with you, and i know it will continues forever. your love for me just grow with your age and i'm thankful for that. thank you for your unconditional loveee.

though we had disputes and all, extra stress from you, i still think i am not wrong, and you ought to learn from it as well. but nonetheless, today's your big day, so i shall give in to you ;)

LOVE YOU! [secretly wish such family happiness will last till the last day i'm on earth]

project-ed in the morning and got ready for the delicious dinner celebration part 1 tonight (:

its basically a 10 course teochew style dishes @ boon keng area. idea was from daddy's clique of friends. we were the first family to reach followed by the rest. all came in with a bottle of wine. end up 16 ppl were drinking 6 bottles of wine. [and had to add on, my parents actually let me drink for the first time! - this might sound ridiculous given i'm of legal age. ]

the main organizer bought a birthday cake from awfully chocolate! and its indeed awfully tasty! perhaps i should get that next yr for daddy. ohoh! i was really happie yesterday cause i saw aunty elaine after 3 yrs! she became a really devoted buddhist over the years and for the past 3 yrs, she's been cooping and mediating herself in Myanmar, India and Vietnam. yes, she didnt came back to singapore at all. and thats why i really miss her that much. she's been one of the nicest and friendly-est aunty i ever seen. someone who will never forgets me in the course of her trips. of course, after 3 solid years of misses, we gave each other a hug in the beginning and when going home. chatted alot and got to know how's she getting on these years.

every year after this celebration, the way they remembered my dad's birthday really touches me. for the 20 over years of friendships.. and it just grew stronger despite the busy hectic work schedules and all. its pretty interesting to hear the crazy things they did as a clique in the midnight while they were young (: indeed everyone's been YOUNG once.

had a little chat with my parents that day, and they told me actually its pretty scary to see how years passed all the time. f-a-s-t. so fast that sometimes they were worried. because it means a step nearer to their death. i mean its not to be pessimistic and all, just facing the reality :/ somehow this struck me that night. it also means, i'll have lesser days left to spend with them. perhaps i shant make them worry for me that often. i love them, despite all the quarrels and arguments. and if one day there's a way to let them stay with me forever, i hope it applies to them too :)

Sometimes you have to run away so you can see who will run after you.

Sometimes you have to speak softer, just to see who’s actually listening.

Sometimes you have to take a step back, to see who’s still standing by your side.

Sometimes you have to make a wrong decision, to see who’s there when everything falls apart.

Sometimes you have to let go of the one you love, just to see if they love you enough to come back.

and no matter which of the above happens, i know my daddy and mommy will be the ones there to hold onto me and walk my life along with me :D

tomorrow's the dinner part 2!

sometimes such small drinks can make me really happy, or perhaps is the human you're with? (:

proud to say i had the most awesome christmas seasons this year (:

thankful for both girlfriends and poly clique, thank you mr santa.

heard this on daddy's car that day:

little reindeer, will you bring me with you back to santa?

sometimes i'm not trying to be emo.. just you know not in my best of mood. actually sometimes it can be really small things that put me off the mood. you might not realised even if you're the cause of it, cause its nothing to you.

and .... worse. i couldnt do anything AT ALL.

merry christmas guys!!!! (: been loving christmas since young cause its the day where i receive alot of presents and most importantly, its the season to be merry with people i love!

the christmas song i always loved:

last christmas ♥

Lyrics | Taylor Swift lyrics - Last Christmas lyrics

and i might not be able to find myself then. so will you..

sometimes i wish i could really balance that well - in life and in studies, and perhaps accounting.

if you think i will spoil your mood, then leave me alone :/

mr santa,

i promise will be a good-er girl next year. for now, can you reward me with this?

its so prettyyy right?

oh noes.i'm turning into a high maintenance girl soon HA!

was blogrolling over to the previous xmas. how i been spending that awesome day.

time really flies - this's gonna be the last christmas we gonna celebrate together as a clique in poly? in just few months, we'll move onto different paths. leading to our very own so-called future career? some will bid farewell to student lives. some will move on to corporate world. some will serve the army. some will leave singapore. some will lose contact. and the possibilities will go on. mixed feelings, but what can we do?

we cant stop the clock from ticking away, right? no matter how much i do not wish to separate from you guys, it will still happen. i really wish i have the stop button, and pause everything at the moment.

enough of some emo stuff, you guys have xmas plans alr?

currently here's mine:

24th - meet hui after work and probably countdown@ jess's house

25th - xmas celebration with girlfriends

26th -candy cane christmas party with poly clique

eggcited.

was invited to miki sensei's wedding. had to admit the church is beautiful..

i wish i could hold my wedding in a church in the future. its so solemn yet a joyous occasion. its my first time attending a church wedding ceremony to be exact. mixed feelings. was kind of touched to tears at the corner of my eyes. its like very much a happy ending that all couples will turn out to be. happie and just emotional?

the solemnization, exchange of vows, prayers, scripture readings, and many more, they just added to how successful the ceremony went. most importantly, it signifies a new chapter for the newly-weds.

somehow when witnessing the ceremony, i got a thought of during my wedding, will my bestfriends be maid of honor and bridemaids? and all the thoughts just flow through like how will it turn out to be? which one of us will be the first to find your other half? etc...

then the other thought of it was saddening to get married LOL. i dont want to kind of "leave" my parents, the family i grew up in.. to carry another surname :/ okay sounded childish. but its just a thought at the moment. like my parents brought me up, educate me, pampered me EXTRA with love, and all.. now i had to build my very own family.. and perhaps spend more time with the new household.. might neglect them. oh man such thoughts just ewwww. HAHAHA.

no worries, i'm still neutral towards weddings.

P.S.

maid of honor: the closest friend or sister of the bride [if she's unmarried]

matron of honor: the closest friend or sister of the bride [if she's married]

bridesmaids: the good friends of the bride

zouk-ed with girlfriends yesterday :D one word - AWESOME.

its actually a beauty pageant before that for SIM.. oo the guy i voted came in first heehee! then prata for supper... headed back for our drinks and DANCE FLOOR! good music only came in around 1plus onwards. ohhh adding on, vodka lime is nice, much better compared to vodka orange. too bad cranberry was not available :(

think zouk experience is much better than the arena @ clarke quay. its much spacious and cosier? better music. funny lot of humans. we didnt even spend any $$, went to this guys table, and he damm ke qi? treat us drinks all the way. [one method to save money HA] just network? had 2 jugs of vodka lime.. [shared with hui] and 1 tequila before leaving.. oh. jess didnt drink, she's the sober-est one among 3 of us HAHA. we 2 got really high when back home, laughing in my room and tossing around. cant even slp a wink. suddenly no zz monster.

of course, we know clubbing people cannot be trusted and all, so we are really careful, no losses okay. HAHA. but the way their actions at the moment was really funny. the jokes they say and all. and they were really high-er than us. perhaps they drank really alot. not real friends for life, but perhaps for that night?

had to say, i quite like their ladies room. clean, good service, convenient (: not a bad experience overall. at least we three did enjoyed ourselves with the ending song of - alejandro. how not to get high! HAHAHA.

next post up will be miki sensei's wedding. *love love*

if only life is so simple...

tmr's the second last paper. hang it there people especially girlfriends who are having CTs!!!

down with fever and flu. thanks to this awesome guy sitting beside me sneezing all the way. i sure thank you for this man.

whatever it is, still has to endure till thurs.

poof! i'm off to my mugging CTs period. fast eh? i find it too fast and furious too!

P.S. hope i fight like a G6, and not score like a C6 :/

omg i seriously cannot take it, yet i have to endure for another 3 months?

can you freaking do your work, be independent, read your timetable for classes?! we really dont expect much anymore.. just do your part as a responsible friend and rep for the class.

if you miss the keyword: its RESPONSIBLE.

none of us are your secretary. we dont have to remind you ALL the time. we have a life of our own you know. its another 3 more months that i have to endure your nonsense.

a word of advice: do not find your friends only when you need them. friends aint your labourers. you share your joy and sorrow with them, not make use of them for who they are.

I REALLY NEED A PLACE TO RANT NOW. I AM AT A LOSS OF WHAT TO DO. SOMETHING HAPPENED THIS MORNING. SOMETHING I DIDNT WISH TO KNOW ABOUT. I JUST DIDNT KNOW HOW TO REACT TO IT. SHOULD I EVEN TELL THEM? DO THEY KNOW ABT IT AND CANT DO ANYTHING? OMG. I SHOULD BE FOCUSED IN CTs WHY AM I INVOLVED INDIRECTLY IN THIS? :(  

sorry cant turn back time, so why the need for it?