They say relationship has many stages. Indeed. It's been 18 mths at the moment. We've already pass the honeymoon period where couples are so deeply in love that they couldn't see each other flaws. 

We've also passed the period were we start to quarrel and argue and dig out stuff to improve each other to a certain level... 

Right now, we are at a stage where we just enjoy each other companion and sharing of everydays' joys and problems. Finding and starting a good career is our priority at the moment. Hopefully, this period can last cause I enjoy such calm and stagnant times :) 

People might think what's it to be in love when there's no big ups and downs or we do not stick entirely close with each other or live in our own couple world.

But to us, such relationship is prolly the most secured and realistic. And it's something that will slowly blossom and grow. 

ILY,raym.

hmmmm this got me into thinking:

bff - what does it really mean in my life?

serene once told me, ppl changes... they come and they go in our lives. yeah its true... but its just so hard to digest. oh well... when its just me who is experiencing the changes, then i guess thats my prob of defining someone... but if most ppl notices the change, then i suppose i'm not the root of the issue? i tried to talk to her about it... she claims there's no changes, from the start she's like this... so.... i guess i do not know her that well afterall? aft a decade of friendship, it went back to square. the unfamiliar kind of feeling is back. this is weird, but is true. we do not have any common topic anymore... i dont pin high hopes for any changes. i just feel i have to enjoy every moment i have with my fellow close friends.

i'm tired. i just hope one day when she suddenly thought of me and wants to be back on close terms with me... i will still be there for her.


am i suppose to let go slowly? who else can guide me through...

I really hate being caught in between situations. Especially between two people I care. I came to realise how hard it is to be in a relationship, not only having to care about my parents but also my boyf. 

Who can understand my woes? Every explanation I said to my boyf are excuses in his eyes. But they are the facts that my parents want me to do. To let my parents know how much boyf loves me, I told them all the good things. To let boyf have an idea of how nice my parents are, I didn't tell him some truths that my parents said.  Every sour I have to endure on my own. I have to apologies  and bend a humble pie to the other party (whoever it is) to get their forgiveness. 

I'm just a person. A typical girl in town. Used to think even when nobody in this world understand me, there's someone out there who will. But now, where's that person? I may be indebt to many ppl be it my past life, this life or whatsoever. But my parents didn't. They are not obliged to do anything for anyone. 

I'm so tired....not because I didn't try, but I tried so hard but to find out not much people out there appreciate me. I'm alw the one pleasing others, I really don't mind as long as they are happy. It's just sometimes pleasing others is tiring too, need a break and I will get back up again.

pretty food and pictures never fail to cheer me on a little (:

exams are just ard the corner in 2 mths time... its my last semester of the degree.. i have no reason not to do well... i have to be at my peak performance! (go go go!)

some friendships on the rocks. (perhaps only i feel this way) 

Sometimes your brain and your heart just wouldn't tally... You know clearly you won't do certain things to upset the other, but your actions are gradually letting go of her...

I'm unsure how long I can last with this. But at this moment, perhaps it's right that I should just smile with all the memories we once shared.

Changes. Something I hate to adapt, but I have to.

Life goes on, nonetheless.

其实我好懦弱哦，我好没有勇气，没有说服力，没有给人信任我的理由，好没用，好懒惰，好没脑，好傻，好慢半拍.....

可我却有一颗想要什么都顺从别人的意思的心，因为我要他们快乐，我要让他们高兴。可是为什么到头来，我却最不快乐。

我爱的人，由始至终有爱过我吗？有站在我的立场为我想吗？

我只是想要很简单的过生活，真的有那么难吗？越来越忧郁的过日子，好累哦。能不能让我休息，换另一个我来代替一下下....

tumblr still has the most beautiful photos :) they never fail to cheer me on.